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It seems there are two separate problems then.

Everyone who sees Uncaught SyntaxError: Invalid or unexpected token is:

• Using Monobook (the default skin), either by choice or by not being logged in.
• Experiencing this problem continuously.
• The root cause is that this script, which should contain jQuery and MediaWiki frontend code, has parts of it overwritten with 155648 0x00 bytes.
• Because that script does not parse, the loading process is broken.
• This probably requires a server-side fix.
• People seeing this: Skilgannon

Meanwhile, everyone who sees Uncaught ReferenceError: jQuery is not defined is:

• Using the Vector skin.
• Using Chrome.
• Experiencing this problem intermittently.
• For the Vector skin, this script, which contains jQuery and MediaWiki frontend code, it perfectly fine.
• However, that script is loaded by this script through document.write() of a <script> tag.
• Chrome is known to block the use of document.write() to load scripts on slow Internet connections.
• Thus, since the script that contains and exposes jQuery is not loaded, other code that depends on it errors with Uncaught ReferenceError: jQuery is not defined.
• Possible fix: Go to chrome://flags, set "Block scripts loaded via document.write" to "Disabled", and restart your browser.
• People experiencing this: Xor and past me